"Do now, do now, what you will wish to have done when your moment comes to die." [St. Angela Merici]

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Trusting The Divine in the Darkness of the Light

By Micky Wolf

I feel very blessed. Most of the time. My beloved and I have much for which to be thankful.
But this is not about that.

This is about those moments (sometimes days or weeks) when you know the light is shining—whether the sun low in the sky, or through the ambiance of your surroundings—and yet it seems as if the darkness prevails.

I’m not talking about being clinically depressed or anything close to that state of existence.

This has more to do with…coming to the end of yourself in every way possible…and then some.

This is about running out of answers…and the questions as well.

Nevertheless, a gift awaits those who are patient.

If you and I choose to stay the course—not give up or try to run from trusting The Divine in the Darkness of the Light—we step into a place of peace we could have only dreamed or imagined possible in this earthly life. 

The gift that awaits discovery in the darkness of the light is that of our authentic self, our authentic life. 

It’s not that we live a lie until that discovery. It’s not that we aren’t good Christians or faithful servants or compassionate people.

It’s that it takes stillness of mind and heart. A quieting of our racing and fragmented thoughts. A release of our fragile or stuffed feelings and emotions.

The bottom line to persevering through this season of life is that it takes whatever time it takes to let go of any and all our notions of who we think we are. Of our ideas of the purpose or mission we believe God has called us to fulfill.

It is…in a phrase…entering into a whole new awareness of what it means to surrender (as best as we can at any time) to God’s will rather than our own.

For those unfamiliar with the basic tenets of (most) religious practices, there is a certain mystery—might I add fear and resistance—to the whole concept of “surrendering one’s will” to that of another. It can stir up all kinds of angst.

Over the centuries any number of spiritual mystics have experienced this kind of darkness. Dark Night of theSoul, or Dark Night of the Senses as they have become known.

One need not be ‘special’ to accept the invitation of The Divine to trust and enter into this darkness.

Rather, one only need to be willing to be willing. To persevere. To believe without seeing, to go deeper without any sense of encouragement. To let go.

Trusting in the darkness.

Not easy. Every fiber of our being wants to escape this place of unknowing. Of ‘blankness’. Of not being in control. Of not having answers. Or of being capable of forming the questions.

But that, dear one, turns out to be the greatest gift of all.

In time, in surrendering, we discover not only God’s will. We discover how much He desires to draw us closer to His sacred heart, to lead us in the way He knows will help us become more fully and authentically the person He has created us to be.

Welcome the darkness.

And if that seems unproductive or boring at best, scary and unsettling at worst, know that you are in the company of kindred nameless souls who have gone before and who are are now cheering you on to live your best life.

How do I feel when it seems I’m living in darkness?

Do I resist the feelings or emotions that may occur?

How do I feel about coming to the end of myself? What does that mean?

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